Before 'the' day

"I think you will really do a good job if you can control your frustupann over small things"

"Abey why do you do everything at the fag end? Discipline, bhi discipline."

"Many people have quit. But I think you are up to it."

Endorphins

The idler became unreasonable
and asked a stupid question.
The lady was not in the mood
but he wanted an oxytocin rush,
for this was the only way
to calm him down,
not to mention the others
riding on the same wave of joblessness.

The plan devised, the network in his favor,
the keystrokes pressed, Chrome in sight
as endorphins he wanted and endorphins he got,
The ways and means, not caring about it a lot.

-Sumeet Seth

P.S. Search 'ways and means advances' (WMA) on Google to make things hazier.

Twenty Five

He promised Twenty Five
from the Two bottles that lay beside him,
and got furtive glances at the onset;
sympathy at one end to derision at the other,
for inexperienced he was to understand 'capacity'.

The First was served at the place
called 'hot seat', the misnomer couldn't be more obvious
for the air conditioner had done its job.
The Second, Third and Fourth followed.
Making the effect more pronounced
were the ill-advised grapes and oranges and sweets.

The love burst out in the heat of the moment
for batch-mates, rather humanity, dare I say.
The Seventh was ordered and gulped
with little time between the two.
Amid frantic hugging and kissing,
missing the lips,
the lemon arrived.

The Eighth was due
but the liver gave up
and he lay don't-know-where
with people unaware.

Roomjacked

I have never really loved Jaipur summers in MNIT. But the one thing which motivated me to stay in 'MY' - and this word is of immense importance here - room was the strategically placed Khaitan cooler. The feeling when you splash the first mug of cold water in a bath - that is the feeling I used to get every moment in my room.

I still do, but I'm not alone.

Like a mouse who quietly snuggles into your room until you realize that hole in your LAN cable (I should really think of the internet less often, but that's another story), like the diplomat who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip, like all other similar 'likes' possible, the pied Piper of Columbia University in the city of New York a.k.a Piper, Veni, Vidi and Vici-ed MY room, not even consciously making me realize, until now.

And for once, the interesting part is not the end (makes me remember the grading system in MNIT!) but the means. The tricks, the tactics, the theory, all seems so evident now. So much so, I feel the urge to give Piper a high five (and kick his butt with the same intensity!).

The 'helping-me-fill-water-in-the-cooler' tactic: Piper, with a generous serving of his friendly nature, offers to fill in a bucketful of water in the cooler and by the time you say a 'yes', the job is already done. Such swiftness and speed, you have to be there to believe it! Needless to say, he stays in the room after that.

The 'let's-chill-out-and spend-some-quality-time-yaar' rhetoric: "Yaar, I can't remember the last time we saw a movie together, lets watch any flick from your mighty 1TB collection na!" ( I feel happy about the movie collection and Piper scores yet another!)

The 'man-of-contradiction-theory': "I know that you will not let me stay in your room today." *sad face* Now, anyone and everyone would fall for this. I reassure him that he can stay. (and still not believe I told that!)

The 'I don't want to disturb you anymore' masterstroke: You feel this inexplicable enthu as you see Piper packing up his stuff (all of it, the bag, the laptop, the pillows, all except the wardrobe) and leaving the room, promising never to bother again for so long. Then, you go to class and happily return, only to find him waiting outside your room with all his equipment, the soldier in Piper standing tall (pun intended!) and unforgiving.

And here I am, writing this memoir as Piper sleeps his way to bliss on my bed; not that I didn't get to sleep on the bed, but for the space I got, it felt like heaven, only that you had your limbs tied in that heaven, for the keeper (Piper, of course, its HIS room now!) is on the higher side of the weight scale.

-Sumeet Seth

Carpe Diem!

I knew I will always do the things I love and find what I want to do in life, under my own terms, notwithstanding any past. And I have been fairly successful in that. Looking back, speaking of a career, I did have plans crystallized in my mind. Much before I got a different opportunity in November last year. 


But that's not the case with the 'rest of my life'. The one that involves people, and relationships. I mean, the offline and the 'real world'. In fact, considering that I spend more than 24 hours a day online, I doubt I have any 'rest of my life' life at all. Exaggeration aside, I loved the loner life.

For the longest time, this was a part of myself I always thought I could be 'no good at'. Or at best, average. Tending to be asocial at times.

And yet, leading this life seemed okay to me.
Because, 'you can't have everything'.
Because maybe some people, like me, are meant to be this way, different and unique.

But I realise this is all just rationalisation.

It does not matter how 'successful' you are.
How intelligent you are, how capable.
Or how much money you earn.

If you cannot manage your emotions and connect with people in a deep and meaningful way, nothing really matters.

And so, instead of taking refuge in keeping track of the whole world, I am learning to live more fully.
To love and understand myself.
To love and understand others.
Make better use of my mind.
To just be, instead of trying to become.

I feel something inside me changing. And it scares me and thrills me at the same time.

To write about what is happening is a challenge.
I am afraid I will 'reveal' too much of myself.
I will stand exposed.

And I wonder, will you understand?
Or even care? Would YOU care?

Nakshatra

died two weeks ago! And no one mourned, thankfully! :P

Walking Alone

.... in Delhi. Yes. It was unlike any other day. A Delhi map in my hand, listing all the places I plan to visit and the precise DTC bus routes (metro ain't an option) for them.


For today, it all began with Patel Chowk and ended at Shahjahan Road. Took the longer route, in the hope of killing the time I shaved off from the NSE exam. Experienced Delhi traffic from a pedestrian's eyes. Juggled my way through the road junctions. Watched people - some engaged in a verbal fight, some making out at Rajpath lawns. Got chased by a pair of Eunuchs (:P) - who gave up, considering the way I outdid their pace of walking. Saw an army of young construction-site workers crossing India Gate Hexagon, virtually stopping traffic for a good 10 seconds. (Yes. That's the biggest concession mean Delhi roads would give). Attempted to gain access to children's park. (Alas! It was not meant for 22-year-olds). Literally threw myself out of the road to prevent another Sanjeev Nanda-type hit-and-run case, though it was a DTC bus, not a BMW.


Now contemplating to ditch a DTC ride tomorrow. 



Aye dil hai mushkil jeena yahan
Zara hat ke zara bach ke, yeh hai Delhi meri jaan.


-Sumeet Seth

Commenting

Thanks to the constant prodding by Ketan Patil and after applying a lot of thought, I have decided to enable comments on this blog. I had an unusual dislike towards comments lest they may be judgmental with regard to my posts or mean in nature. Not any more. :)

To put it in a better way, an awesome writer (with all due credit to Rahul) states, "Blogging without people commenting is akin to masturbating without climax - a wasteful exercise of the arms".

So, please go ahead. Comment!

-Sumeet Seth

Letting bygones be bygones at MNIT

..... full stop!

Fakers galore: The pitfalls of spontaneous trips

The other day, I got the privilege of reading this sad but interesting story crafted by a friend. This friend of mine is weird and his ways are chutiatic, people say; not because he actually is, but due to the junta's inability to be more imaginative and less fussy.

Here goes the parable:

Nakshatra is a lucky guy, but only on his birthdays. Somehow, nature conspires to make his birthday a memorable affair. Today is the day. Though only a handful of people bother to turn up, he is fine with it, as all his close friends are always there.

A little background info worth mentioning here. Nakshatra has never had close friends. Only acquaintances at best. Same goes for his Dad, Mom, Brother and other family members. There are a multitude of family acquaintances and community friends, but not a single 'close' friend. The concept of family is too closely knitted to even allow one. He has several family firsts to his credit. The first person to study engineering. The first person to not work in the traditional family business, etc. He is the first person to come out of the family shell as well.

Coming back to the birthday scene, the stage is set for a spontaneous day-long trip to Pandora (some imaginary place, not the one projected by 'Avatar' :P). Nakshatra had not expected this. Apart from his schedule, the cash in his hands is also a constraint. Even though he earns some small income every month, few people know that it is all he has to his disposal, family is not told to chip in, for only he is aware of circumstances at home.

Not wanting to spoil the mood, he humbly declares his monetary constraints. Friends, though complaining at first, tell him that he will be remunerated for all the 'extra' expenses. Now, learning from past experiences, trust does not come easy for Nakshatra. But the assuring tone helps to build that trust and he agrees.

The trip begins. The atmospheric is adventurous and euphoric with everyone appreciating how the plan has fructified. Friends congratulate Nakshatra for another memorable birthday. He is happy to be cared for. He opens himself up, all his inhibitions, his shell, vanish. The group has one hell of an awesome time. They return back the next evening.

 Reminiscent of his cash crunch, Nakshatra casually reminds his friends about the remuneration. Mr. A tells him to discuss it with Mr. M, who had been the most assuring member of the group before the trip. Mr. M, seen as a very vulnerable and socially conscious individual, backtracks. As he outlines the reasons for such a treacherous attitude, another friend from the group - who joined the trip in spite of his injuries (kudos!) - joins his arguments. With Mr. A also supporting, it becomes a chorus. Nakshatra is shocked, not much because he lost the money he was supposed to spend over the course of the next month, more due to the hostile attitude displayed by the only friends he has in college. But some kind of inner strength restrains him from expressing his anger and he keeps quiet.

"'Dhoka kyon diya, resources kam they toh bol dete. Kuch aur kar lete uss din. Assure karke backtrack karte hain. Fraud people", he thought. Nakshatra hated liars, and used to equate them to corrupt people, whom he detested. He remembers that some of his friends are corrupt as well, some never make their intentions clear, some have been too influenced by college to differentiate right from wrong. Every facet of their behaviour, the pattern, the assuring ways, the fraud, come into his mind, all at once.

He begins to lose the faith. The faith that made him different. The faith which repelled him form the closely knitted family atmosphere. He just loses it. Completely.

Promising himself something very strongly, he sets out to face the next day.

- Sumeet Seth (sumeets29@gmail.com)